About this time last year, I bragged that I was the most boring patient in Palm Beach County. Never a day in the hospital. Original parts. No chronic disease. Boring. 

Except for my ONE problem. I snored. It was annoying my husband, and it had even started to wake ME up. Most nights, we slept in separate bedrooms. As things go, not a bad solution. 

But then, we made travel plans: a two-week to cruise across the Atlantic, plus one more week exploring the fjords of Norway by ship, and then a whole month in a canal-side apartment in Amsterdam. It was the trip of a lifetime. 

IF we survived 28 long nights in tight quarters. The snoring needed to end. 

So, I filled out a questionnaire at my doctor’s about something called sleep apnea. I had it.

• Then, I got plugged into electrodes for an overnight study to see how often my sleep was disturbed. A lot. 

• Finally, I did one more overnight with a hose on my face to determine if pouring air down my pipes might keep me asleep and quiet. It did. 

I breathlessly awaited the arrival of my Continuous Positive Airway Pressure (CPAP) machine.

The five-pound miracle worker arrived in a handy traveling case just in time for the trip. I placed it on my side of the cruise ship bed where, every night for two weeks, it turned me into Darth Vader. “I am your wife. Kiss me goodnight.” It was a pleasant surprise to learn that my husband could find me under all that paraphernalia, and an even bigger surprise that we both slept well. No one was banished to the balcony or, worse, below deck with the crew. 

It was a marvelous two weeks. Then, we got to Amsterdam and all hell broke loose.